Love Talks

“Most women will tell you they’ve dated ‘bad boys,’” White says. And in discussing “bad boys,” she is not referring to dangerous, controlling men, men who threaten your safety by verbally or physically abusing you.

She is not talking about men with anger issues, who might be secret gamblers or substance abusers. Those men are to be avoided at all costs. These “bad boys” are the ones who can’t commit and will just drive you crazy when you try to have a relationship with them.

You have to figure out how to stop the pattern of picking the wrong guys. White says, “The problem is that once you’ve been through this kind of emotional wringer, you really start to doubt yourself. You ask yourself, ‘What did I do wrong?’ Well, you need to take a look at the pattern.”

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Lyrics:

ate last night
I was goin through some old things
When i Saw a picture of you and my best friend
It reminded me of day when you were mine
You had a way that always let me hear with a smile
I want those sweet days back agian
Cause baby

[Chorus:]

Its sunny day
But you’re not around
That dog gone rain might as well be pouring down
Its such a shame
Cause your heart on the ground
Just wanna be cool with you again

Sometimes I sit By the fire and reminisce
About the time we spent infront of it
And that old flame will never be the same
Until you come back and rekindle it
I just wanna share my heart with you again
Cause babe

[Chorus]

I fall asleep at night
And often see you here
In my dreams
Holding me
But then I wake up and I realize that you’re
Not here with me
It hurts so much
I gotta have you back babe

[Chorus x2]

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Choosing to be faithful is a decision. You may not always feel like it. It takes a lot of self-control in not being punitive, sensitivity to the feelings of others, empathy, good impulse control, and the willingness and skills to effectively ask, and even demand that your intimate partner fulfill your needs.

Good communication, negotiation, problem solving and conflict resolution skills are important in this process, as well as a lot of patience, which is needed in order to hang in there. It is definitely not easy. It is easier for many people find someone else.

Infidelity may start as an accident, a curiosity, or as a punishment. There is an addictive quality to it, which makes it progressively harder to stop.

Once it is discovered, infidelity hits with tremendous force. It decimates your partner’s self esteem, ruptures trust, threatens the kids, destabilizes the relationship and throws the future into question. It is like a death. It is the death of the relationship’s innocence, for it will be a long time before the two of you trust each other again.

Once it is admitted or discovered, infidelity generates tremendously powerful emotions in the betrayed partner. Emotions will likely include anger, rage, the desire for revenge, and sometimes homicidal and suicidal feelings. Nothing seems to wound more than being jilted for someone else.

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Every time the media gives attention the topic of infidelity and cheating spouses, many couples internally ask the question of how they would cope with such a situation.

Marriage can survive infidelity. It’s not easy. It hurts.

There will be anger, tears, and depression. It takes time. It takes a decision to love. It takes a decision to trust again.

It means no garbage dumping. It takes courage. It takes commitment.

We say this because our marriage did survive unfaithfulness. Our crisis happened in our eighth year of marriage and the result was a really nasty divorce. Two years later, we re-married each other. We’ve now been married over 40 years. So, yes, we believe a marriage can survive an extra-marital affair. But ONLY if both partners are willing to work at making the marriage successful.

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